Today was bittersweet for me. I got a chance to celebrate life with a few friends but I also soaked in the sadness of missing my mom. My mother died almost 6 years ago. That pain has never gone away. Usually today I zone out with Kleenex but my dear friend Monique drug me out of the house and gave me the best day I’ve had in years. Today not only made me realize my mother would not want me in this state of depression but she would want me to rejoice in what I’ve overcome and accomplished as a mother.
I was 16 when I got pregnant with my first child. I made the choice to drop out of school. I told myself I had to provide, and my education would have to wait. I got a job and worked my whole pregnancy. I never let anyone buy me anything because I wanted to show I was doing it “myself”. That concept has been both my gift and my curse my entire life. I never ask for help because I take pride in accomplishing everything alone.
Instead of going back to school, I decided to get my GED. I did and at 16 enrolled in community college. It was a long road to the finish, but I finished my associate’s degree and transferred it to the University of South Florida where I received my bachelors. Life has not been perfect along the way, but every block in the road, I seemed to knock down.
I have been through many things, but it has ALWAYS been my children that have given me the motivation, determination, and ambition I have needed to succeed. Without them, I cannot imagine where or who I would be. So much has been placed on me at an early age that most would’ve checked out on life. It was them, however, that has kept me going.
I was judged so long for being not only a teenage mother but a single mother. Society wants to put you into this box of shame but I am not ashamed. Instead, I embrace. I embrace my children and the lessons they have taught me about myself. I don’t know where I would be without them or the experience of life they have given me. I am proud to be a mother. I am proud to be their mother.
Motherhood changes you. If you allow it, it will turn you into one of the strongest beings on the planet. It truly has for me. Today, I rejoice! Today, I not only celebrate the life of my mother, I celebrate my strength. I celebrate the people who let me down. I celebrate my failures. I celebrate my closed doors. I celebrate how many people told me no while I was praying for a yes. I celebrate everyone who turned their back on me after they promised they would stay. Every step of adversity has turned me into not only a bad ass mom, but a bad ass woman!
Today, I celebrate the mothers who defy the odds, the mothers who make a way out of no way, and the mothers who may have struggled, but their kids never felt a thing. Today is YOUR day. Happy Mother’s Day Queens!
As Blogged by Aisha A.